toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize