she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize