# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.