I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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