You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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