The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
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just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
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i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Please don't give away my fajitas
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