I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize