I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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