shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"