i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i love accidental penises.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.