She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
