Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
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