he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
