FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Randomize
