Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Randomize
