Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
