Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
