i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
