so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
