I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
