Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
