This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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