she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
