sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Slut skills are useful in every country.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
We need to get me chipped asap
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
