u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
