Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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