Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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