Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I don't deserve a penis
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
