so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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