didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
