He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
