THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
