she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
