drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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