i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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