She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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