This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize