WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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