I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
