I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
he quoted the bible to break up with me
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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