Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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