so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Houston, we have a squirter
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
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