I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
