No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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