she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
My life is pants optional.
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