I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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