The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
