i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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