im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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