i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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