"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
