it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
