I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
