went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
