she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
